The Swiss federal institute for Forest, Snow and Landscape research (Wald, Schnee und Landschaft). My Swiss is limited but I’m hazarding a guess that the W is pronounced as a Vee as in Vald ergo VSL. So much better than doubleU. VSL, three syllables. WSL, a mouth full of marbles.
The Very Surf League, The Very Secret League, The VERITABLE Surf League! Shit yeah I’ll give ‘em that for free!
The Alpine institute was one of the first search results from Google. The World Surf League was top. I don’t know if this is down to cookies on my computer or a true result. Whatever.
I have a beef with them. They unfollowed me on Twitter. Bastards, I mean someone who manages their account actually found me and unfollowed me. They’ve got a blue tick for fucks sake! How many people with a blue tick follow you eh!? (I still have a few but I reckon Rupert Murdoch paid for Fred Pawle’s and why hasn’t Matt Warshaw got one!?). Their lack of communication with their fanbase has been dealt with far more eruditely than I could hope to both here at Vish's site and here at The Outsider , but what is interesting is who they do talk to.
After tweeting this
And hearing nothing @kerrypow tweeted this..
Not two minutes later she got a reply by DM nonetheless, I asked her what it said..
Certain fans obviously. I guess they haven’t learnt to accept criticism yet. Wankers. And this is why I struggle to be sympathetic when the first tour event of the year gets shit waves (sandwiched by exceptional waves, haha wankers (did I say that already?)). Instead of talking to a fawning fan base throwing platitudes and congenial commiserations at them, why didn’t they answer the pertinent questions being asked by a fan base WITH SOME FUCKING PASSION! Oh wait… Passion, yeah, less of that please eh Mr Mel. Is it any wonder Strider has a job? The ‘Yawn Patrol Live’ (shown an hour and forty five minutes after the sun came up) could have explained why they chose not to run at Duranbah and put to rest the intrigue surrounding sponsors Dollars and politics. They could have talked to tour surfers about where they had been surfing and even got them to commentate on clips (they all have filmers) and explain to ‘fans’ the whys and wherefores of surfing elsewhere. They could have asked the Pro’s to legitimise them.
They got Gabby instead.
At the risk of flogging a dead horse... Change the format already! It’s blatantly obvious they don’t care about people who care about surfing. They care about money, and people who care about surfing don’t think about money, they think about surfing, but wait! What if the people who care about surfing inadvertently hit on a money making scheme by suggesting that showing more surfing, in the best waves, with the best surfers might be better to watch! Nah. Fuck ‘em.
C’mon. It’s boring as bat shit, even for a die-hard surf tragic, it’s a struggle to watch a whole comp and need I point out that they don’t care much for die-hard surf tragics. My guess is they’d like to tap into the ‘extreme’ market. Short attention span, quick snippets of high octane action with sponsors messages in between (not over the top of!). Imagine.. The best free surfer in the world and self-proclaimed dissenter of all things competition under pressure from his sponsor to blow up in a heat against one of the most competitive machines and 2 times world champ! Who wouldn’t wanna see that.
A full thirty minutes that you will never ever get back. Five and a half waves ridden.
But they didn’t have good waves you say? Tough. Change the whole fucking caboodle. The week before the event was pumping, the week after the event has been pumping. But they can’t have an open ended waiting period you say? Yes they can. Forecasting is so good these days that Pro surfers start talking to their management about trips weeks out. Carting cameras and filmers and boards around the world isn’t cheap and these days you don’t hear of too many trips chasing waves that got skunked.
But you can’t just rock up and take over a spot for four days you say? No you can’t. Halve the tour. Do away with the man on man no loser round (four man heats in round two, twenty mins with priority ten without, dog eat dog) Round one two man heats but overlapping ala Pipe. Get the whole thing done in a day (or two halves). The venue would easily get a ten day ahead ‘maybe’ then a week ahead ‘definite’, more than enough time to arrange moderate infrastructure. Best surfers, best waves. No seeding for rounds one and two but highest heat totals form seeds for next rounds. One local wild card chosen online by the fans.
It’s a sketch, better minds can come up with other scenarios but they won’t listen because they hate dissenters. Perhaps we can get Kerry to be our spokesperson, what’dya reckon Kerry? Would you be happy talking to them on behalf of all the bloggers and bottom-feeding journalists?
I secretly hope Bells is flat.
I secretly hope the WSL goes tits up and a serious business grabs it and wrestles something worth watching out of it. And I will moan about it because it will be on satellite and I will have to pay ;)
BREAKING: This just in….
WEASEL!! Two syllables and an animal to boot.